Ryan & Jourdan
Hi, We are Ryan & Jourdan Blue.
Before Jourdan dove into the research about attachment theory and the brain, we were destined to be just like every other couple. We both had avoidant attachment styles and actually high-fived on our first date to "never getting married to anyone." Neither of us had the skills to be fully vulnerable or secure in a relationship past the honeymoon stage. We both had a history of failed dead end relationships and we were afraid (and destined) to repeat.
Jourdan came from divorced parents and an intense history of severe trauma. Ryan came from a family that struggled with emotional vulnerability. Neither were set up with the skills they needed to lean fully into this relationship and they both worried about being a burden.
Thankfully, because Jourdan decided to dive into this 90+ years of research and used it to create her step by step attachment rewiring process, Relationship Theory, our relationship now looks completely different!
We were the first to apply this method and this process has turned us into two extremely emotionally vulnerable people that are completely securely attached to one another.
There is no anxious avoidant cycle. There is no fear of abandonment or rejection. We feel safe and seen at the same time. Neither of us have ever experienced a connection like this.
In fact, on our wedding day, we high-fived, again. Only this time, we were on a mountain in Colorado and celebrating that we "Just got married" to one another!
After transforming our own relationship and seeing the incredible changes happening for Jourdan's clients, we both decided to team up and make sure that anyone who really wanted to find and keep a healthy relationship really COULD do it.
We want to be a bridge for others to become the Twenty Percent of couples that thrive.
The reality is, you are not destined to always fail at relationships if you don't want to be.
Now, we live out our dream relationship in our home in Nashville, TN and we spend our time building as many bridges as we can to people like YOU that are ready to rewire so that you can have your dream relationship!
Hi, I'm Erika.
Before Jourdan I was solidly numbing and settling in every area of my life. I was in a painful marriage. I also worked at a company that so painfully recreated my childhood trauma and hurts…only it was in the workforce instead of at home! I was parenting the best I could, but it was only slightly better than how I was parented growing up. I was just surviving.
After my 11 year marriage ended, I joined the endless cycles of the anxious and avoidant relationships. I tried to follow various dating coaches “advice” only to later realize that I was perpetuating the cycles due to this “advice” I was receiving. I was terrified to lean into a relationship and when I started to lean in, at the first sign I might be rejected, I would run, put up a wall and protect myself.
I had two little kiddos at home who were watching me, and I was desperate to figure out how to show them a secure relationship when I never saw one. Thankfully, I then found Jourdan and her program! I had always been one to sacrifice my own needs and wants for other people. I never prioritized me, my wants, my needs, etc. Choosing to do one of Jourdan’s programs was probably the first time I chose me and I’m so grateful I did. This has changed everything.
After Finding Jourdan I immediately dove into her first program the moment she opened it up! I IMMEDIATELY had so many “aha’ moments and was determined that my past was not going to dictate my future.
I had so much hope when I saw her relationship with Ryan and saw the success from other couples going through her programs. I listened to the trainings, I heard stories from other participants, and I was DETERMINED to make a healthy and secure relationship my reality. I believed that if others could do it, so could I and I fully believed that I had finally found the tools to rewire my brain, heal the years of hurt and trauma, and create a secure thriving 20% type of relationship with a partner.
As I applied what I was learning from Jourdan on the dating scene, I met my now partner, Paul. We have been married since December of 2020 and have moved into couples work and truly have a relationship that is unlike anything either of us have ever seen or experienced. We have four kiddos between us and are loving that we get to show them what a healthy relationship looks like! We are not perfect and we have learned how to repair and grow and are only getting stronger. We protect and prioritize our relationship and have built such a solid relationship together.
I joined the Relationship Theory team because of how passionate I am about this work. When I say this changes everything, I mean it changes EVERYTHING!
As you become more secure and develop a secure relationship, that 100% affects how you show up at work, with family, with friends. Vulnerability and connection are craved, and you are able to securely show up in every situation or repair if needed. You speak up for what you need, you know addressing things head on is the best thing you can do. This doesn’t just show up in the relationship part of your life!
I am so passionate about this work because I know the me before this program….the hurt, lonely, depressed version of me. The one who believed she wasn’t worthy, wasn’t enough (and too much at the same time!), the one who felt like a burden, who felt like she was the exception, the one who felt like she was too independent and that she would have to settle…
I know the me after the program…the me now is a strong, secure woman. One who understands her worth is not determined by other people, who believes she is worthy and completely lovable.
My life has completely done a 180 and not just in my relationships, but in every area.
I joined the team because I am SO determined to help as many couples as possible experience what I (and so many others) have experienced. You. Don’t. Have. To. Settle.
If you’re on the fence, if there is any part of you that resonates with the me before the program, I want to ask you, what do you have to lose? Worst case scenario you don’t learn anything, perpetuate the same anxious/avoidant cycles, and continue experiencing the same old life. Best case scenario - the one that we are ALL passionately working with you towards, the one where hundreds and thousands of people have gone through before you – is that you get to build and experience the thriving secure 20% of relationships with a partner.
When did you start believing that you weren’t worth it? That you don’t deserve a secure and healthy relationship? Who has helped affirm those stories? Why would you continue allowing them to get a say in your future?
Choose you. You are worth it. You are wired for connection.
Hi, I'm Nicole
Before Jourdan I was really struggling in my life in so many ways. I had constant anxiety, no boundaries, I struggled with people pleasing, I had little to no confidence and I was on the verge of a breakup with my partner who I had been with for over a year. My partner Austin and I were experiencing constant and painful arguments in our relationship. We knew we did not want to end our relationship, we loved each other so much, but we felt hopeless and we did not want to continue the cycle of hurt.
After finding Jourdan my life changed in more ways than one. I started Jourdan's and experienced so much clarity. I felt true hope for the first time. I got more out of it than I did in a year of therapy with other therapists. Eventually Austin joined me in the couples process and we never had another one of those painful arguments. Through this process we were able to heal, repair, grow and learn. If you saw Austin and I before all this you would not believe we are the same couple. We feel so incredibly safe with each other, we are best friends and true partners. We feel so confident and certain in our future together. I feel true peace and security in my relationship that I never imagined I could feel, especially coming from divorced parents.
I joined the Relationship Theory team because there is such a need for direct, results driven therapists who are experts in working with relationship issues. After my experience of trying so hard to get this information and struggling to find it, I feel so passionate about being part of a team who is dedicated to helping those who are ready for change in their relationships get the results they are hoping for. Supporting individuals and couples build secure relationships is the most fulfilling work and such a dream come true.
If you're on the fence I would say, if you want something different, you have to do something different. You cannot expect a shift in your relationships if you keep going down the same path over and over again and with no support. You have the opportunity to create the change you want - don’t allow yourself to settle for anything other than what you are longing for!
Hi, I'm Caylin
Before Jourdan, my love life was a string of heartbreaks, constantly giving to only get breadcrumbs in return, leaning in and they pull away, feeling like my worth was only in my body, feeling like I was crazy and that my feelings were “too big,” that I was never enough, and like love was just always going to be this big painful thing.
I felt like I had to “perform” in relationships - putting on a façade that wasn’t really me because the second my partners saw the true me, they hightailed right out of here. And the advice from the scammy online dating coaches telling me to “just send this text” or “play hard to get,” was NOT helping.
I was in a career that most people would dream to have. It was shiny, glamorous, fun, exciting and cool - it was what I thought I always wanted. But I just couldn’t ignore that I felt out of place, like I didn’t belong, and like it was just one more place I was performing for my worth and approval.
On top of that, cue one more soul-crushing heartbreak, and I’m feeling discarded and officially at my lowest.
Little did I know that all it was going to take was some mindless scrolling on social media trying to numb the pain for my world to completely flip upside down - that’s when I found Jourdan.
Hearing her tell me about my anxious attachment style, describing the cycles and patterns I’d been in in my relationships, I fell to my knees and sobbed. I thought, “how is this woman who’s NEVER met me before, describing me to a T?” I had never felt so SEEN before.
Through my tears and feeling some newfound hope, I told myself - “I’m not crazy, I’m going to fix this.”
From that moment on, I was all in and I joined Jourdan’s program.
I learned that 50% of marriages fail, and research has found that 80% of relationships are unhealthy or unhappy, and only 20% are actually secure.
And, I didn’t want to be in the majority anymore - and to do that, I had to rewire my brain and permanently change my attachment style.
I had people tell me I was crazy, that dating intentionally, being upfront about the kind of relationship that I wanted, and wanting to dive into therapy and relationship resources with someone to learn and grow - would push men away.
And it did! With Jourdan’s program, all the people who weren’t looking for the kind of relationship I wanted and who would’ve been repeats of my past patterns - RAN FOR THE HILLS.
And in the process, I was experiencing a level of growth, healing, and confidence I had never had before. And eventually, it all led me to the most amazing gift in my life, my partner Mat.
The relationship that I thought didn’t exist, or that wasn’t meant for me - we built together.
Jourdan gave us the tools, resources and information we both needed to heal our traumas, our patterns and create our dream relationship. Our safe, secure, healthy, deeply vulnerable, perfectly flawed relationship. The “me” now doesn’t have to perform for love or hide the things I thought made me “unlovable, ” and I don’t struggle with those familiar fears, insecure stories and cycles in relationships anymore.
We saw what the power of having the growth mindset can do - no longer thinking “it is what it is” and being the victim to how things were in our past relationships or those we saw around us.
Now I wanted vulnerability in all other aspects of my life, and once I realized I could help others have truly vulnerable lives and secure relationships, I knew that NOTHING would be as fulfilling for me ever again.
When you find the thing completely changes your belief system and how you see the world, you can’t ignore it - and that’s when I joined the Relationship Theory team and it has been the most fulfilling professional experience of my life.
I am a completely different person.
I know it’s cliche when companies say that they’re a “family” - but when you have a community who live life through a belief system built around the importance of secure relationships, vulnerability, growth, compassion and empathy, it changes your life.
So, if you’re on the fence, I’ll say this: change is hard and staying the same is hard.
Which is harder for you?
You get to choose between a life of being alone or in unhealthy or disconnected relationships OR facing your fears and proving your story of being unlovable or not good enough wrong, getting vulnerable and diving into the unfamiliar so you can finally have a secure relationship where you feel safe, seen, heard and loved unconditionally.
Both can be scary. But which is the life you want?
We’ll be here when you’re ready to join us in the 20%.
Hi, I'm Erin
Before Jourdan I felt I was in this spiral of loneliness, guilt, shame, and fear. I felt like such a FAILURE because I had walked away from my marriage and blamed myself for breaking up my family. I couldn't understand why I never felt true happiness and belonging in my relationships. And, why, when I leaned into someone, they would pull away, change on me, and why I told myself “I would always be alone,” “I’m not lovable,” “I’ll never belong,” and “I’m too much AND not enough.”
After finding Jourdan I felt RELIEF, like a HUGE weight was being lifted off of me! I finally learned I wasn’t alone, how I felt about myself wasn’t my fault, AND I could do something about it!! I had never felt so SEEN before! And THIS MOMENT became my life changing catapult into this AMAZING world of growth and change! I felt EMPOWERED and I remember thinking, “I AM GOING TO DO THIS!”
Jourdan gave me the CHANCE to grow and change my life for the better - to find and build a secure love! And I had the CHOICE, the POWER with a growth mindset to now do this for me! To have a love I always dreamed of and thought I’d never have, and to be my vulnerable, authentic self on this amazing journey!
And this all led me to the LOVE OF MY LIFE, Travis! A relationship where we both feel lovable, safe to be our vulnerable, authentic selves, full of love, healing, joy, happiness, and security! We KNOW and have no doubt we are true partners, and will always show up for each other no matter what, through good and hard times - we’ll help each other stand back up when we stumble and climb over walls we come across along the way!
I joined the Relationship Theory team because I KNEW right away, creating my own secure relationship, I wasn’t going to stop there! I’d found so much passion and CONVICTION and wanted to continue to help other women and couples who struggled just like me! I want EVERYONE to have what I have in a secure relationship, because everyone DESERVES and is WORTHY of secure love and connection!
If you're on the fence DO IT SCARED! Do it MESSY! You don’t have to be perfect to build a secure relationship! AND you’re not alone! There are so many others who have been where you are and CHOSEN to do things differently to achieve an AMAZINGLY different kind of relationship! YOU are NOT the exception! If so many others can do this, so can YOU! This is YOUR moment! This is your CHANCE, and now it’s your CHOICE to grow and take the leap to find a love unlike any you’ve ever had! Don’t let fear hold you back from something INCREDIBLE!
Hi, I'm Karly
Before Jourdan I was in back-to-back anxious/avoidant cycles in relationships, struggled with boundaries, had such anxiety with performance and work, and really struggled finding ‘safe’ and quality friends. Most everything in my life felt unsafe or inconsistent before meeting Jourdan, and she helped me uncover the why behind it all.
After finding Jourdan I literally went from living with tremendous anxiety around work, relationships, friendships, etc, to now, falling in love with being a photographer all over again, creating a secure relationship (that I struggled to believe I could ever get), and narrowing my circle down to those who are SO safe. I say it all the time, and it’s the truth - Jourdan changed my entire life.
I joined the Relationship Theory team because I began seeing (for myself) how much my life changed based on getting to the root of my anxiety and fear in all areas of my life. I started taking action on things that I felt I was powerless over - like my job, friendships, and certain relationships. I’m at a point now where it’s hard for me to NOT talk about the impact this has made on me. Being a part of this team means being in a community that is always growing, working on their own shame, and deciding to lean into the discomfort. Being around people that are both growth minded and vulnerable is unfamiliar due to what I’ve been used to, but it’s been the best change I’ve ever had in my life.
If you're on the fence know that I get it. For all of us, it can feel scary to invest time and money into something new. And, you’re the only person that can decide if you're worth it. Jourdan always tells me, “it’s your 4,000 weeks - you get to decide how you choose to spend them.” It’s really really hard to imagine a different life when you’re so stuck in the same patterns, and so that's why building NEW (and healthier) patterns is the way to go. If it's up to me, I'd vote "choose growth, always."
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