Multi Basket Methodology is, in simplified form, basically “keeping your options open”.  The way that this dating methodology works is that you are discouraged from “putting all your eggs in one” basket until there is an ACTUAL reason for you to do this.  Honestly, the putting all your eggs in one basket methodology is a very high schoolish type of mentality.  The whole “OH MY GOD SHE’S/HE’S SOO CUTE I HAVE SUCH A BIG CRUSH ON HER/HIM.”  Basically, when people do this, what they do is they go “all in” on one specific person BEFORE ANY interest is even ESTABLISHED!  That means before the hopeful romantic even TALKS to the person of their affection about whether or not there is a possibility, they start OBSESSING (Yes, stalking, facebook stalking, dreaming, hoping, praying, whatever) about the girl/guy as if they are already dating.

THE PROBLEM with this is that MOST of the times the fact that you are OBSESSING is the VERY principle by which you are probably NEVER going to get the person you set your affections on.  Guys and girls alike can sniff desperation, and usually run away from it quicker than you can say, “BUT, I LOVE YOU!!!!”

There are TWO problems with putting too much money in one stock.  The first problem is that if you even GET the girl/guy that you are hoping for, 9 out of 10 times the relationship will be lopsided.  You will not believe how many people I’ve talked to that say they are only in this relationship because the guy didn’t want to give up.  However, you can CLEARLY tell that they don’t actually LIKE the guy that much.  Honestly, if nothing else, that’s just SAD.  I mean…I realize that in most relationship, one person is going to like the other more…but when it’s THIS LOPSIDED, it’s just SAD for BOTH sides.  “Yea, I’m dating so and so, but she doesn’t actually love me, but WHO CARES CAUSE I GOT HER!”  I bet that’s what some of these guys who used the tree chopping method are thinking.  But wow.  Really?  You’ve also won a possible future affair or divorce.  CONGRATULATIONS.

The second reason why putting all your money in one stock can be a problem is because most of the times, YOU WILL FAIL.  Meaning, you will put all this money in one stock, and then you will quickly learn that the stock has NO ROMANTIC feelings for you whatsoever, and then you’re left with no money.  SUCKS TO BE YOU.

Therefore, the Multi Basket Methodology, to avoid such horrible outcomes, promotes the idea of developing “interest” in people instead of having “crushes” on them.  What is interest?  Interest is simply establishing “dateableness”.  What that means is, you keep your eye open for guys/girls that you believe you could connect with if you actually invested time into each other as people.  You NEVER fully commit to that “guy/girl” during this “interest” phase.  As a matter of fact, you have this same “interest” with a lot of different guys/girls, (however developing too much interest for too many guys/girls probably means you’re HELLA DESPRATE and as such you will probably fail even this methodology) and then from there, you throw out bait and see which fish gets hooked.  The Multi Basket Methodology banks on the principle that there are indeed plenty of fish in the sea, so you can afford to throw out a few lines and see who bites first.

So it would look something like this.  Guy X develops interest (not LIKES but just INTEREST) for Girl Y and Girl Z.  Guy X doesn’t commit himself fully to either, but simply talks to them and gets to know them better (not by much cause then you might start liking them).  Guy X throws out “interest” indicators, such as “hey, do you want to hang out, maybe grab some dinner sometime?”  One of the two girls “bites” the bait.  Girl Y says she would like to have dinner.  Guy X goes to dinner with Girl Y.  At dinner, Guy X expresses his interest for Girl Y.  Girl Y tells Guy X that she, as well, is “interested”.  Then, at this point, and THIS POINT ONLY, you start putting your eggs in this basket.  Not ALL at once, cause ultimately you don’t know if it’ll work yet.  You date each other, and find out if it MAKES SENSE.  You pray, ask God, everything is all good, and then you say “I do” at the alter, and now all your eggs are in one basket.  But it didn’t START that way.  It BECAME that way.

This is an effective strategy cause it protects your heart.  You don’t invest in a person until you know that the stock is ACTUALLY worth investing in.  People who invest too prematurely mostly end up screwed at the end.

However, in another scenario, if both Girl Y and Girl Z express interest, you can do what one of my friend’s did.  Take them on a date together (you stud), and see how they handle the situation.  watch them claw each other’s eyes out.  maybe throw some mud in  pool, bust out one piece swimming suits and let them go at it.  SURVIVAL OF THE FITTEST BABY!

A quiet yearning awakens within the soul, destructively powerful, a dichotomy of so many contradicting realities that it’s hard to fathom that the source of these happenings come from only one source. Beautiful, yet at the same time ugly. Joy-giving, yet at the same time sorrowful. It’s an ebb and flow of two separate experiences so radically different that are still somehow ironically linked together.

Romantic Love.

There’s an old maxim out there somewhere that states, “there is a thin line between love and hate.” Now I’m not too sure about that in a literal sense, but in its implications, the reality that when you are so emotionally invested in a person it’s easy to experience strong emotions for them whether in a good or bad way is true. Anyone who has experienced this knows exactly what I’m talking about! The infamous “burning” syndrome is at the heart of this. You BURN (for those ignorant to this word, “burn” is that insatiable feeling of wanting to get into a relationship, and it only gets worse if there’s a specific someone you have in mind) to the max, and the burning is painful and stressful because you’re so invested in a person, so desirous to pursue them, that it hurts and frustrates you, but at the same time fills you with a weird sense of fulfillment.

I liken this burn to another burn that’s very similar to it. For the Korean person (and even for the average person, since Korean culture is the dominant one) (puhahaa), it’s known as BDS=Burning Ddong go mok Syndrome (Burning butthole syndrome). Let me describe this to you…BDS occurs when, the day after consuming some hot and spicy food, you go bathroom.

The spice-infused diarrhea that subsequently explodes out of your butthole brings such an agonizing pain, that you swear to yourself that you will NEVER eat spicy food for as long as you live! You think that’s bad? It gets worse when you have some sort of cut down there. Oh man. As liquid poo streaks down the sides of your crack, the only thing you’re thinking while gas explosions (that sound disturbingly similar to machine gun rounds) fill the bathroom with such a wretched stench that people outside are beginning to gag is that you want the pain to end!

But at the same time, you feel a sense of fulfillment. You just took a dump, and although it was painful, it was satisfying. You emptied out the garbage, you’re happy. But that happy fulfillment comes at a hefty price. You can’t even walk anymore, your anus hurts so bad.

It’s predominantly a western cultural phenomenon, I think. Not BDS–no, BDS is predominantly a Korean phenomenon, where the food is so spicy it comes out red on the other end. I mean the burn–the burn is predominantly a western cultural phenomenon. We’re so inundated with TV show after TV show after TV show, where people just get together on a whim, or those chick flicks from hell where romanticism comes together at it’s most beautiful and finest moments. These things constantly nag at us, making us wonder “why are we missing out on all this damned romance!” We’re all saps, everyone of us, desiring for something that really “isn’t” there, or at least not how we think it will be in our heads.

And what’s more? It’s more prevalent around this time (there is seriously a curse on valentines day or the month of valentines day that really brings this out) and also when you’re in korea/taiwan. Sick. People are stuck together at the hip in both of those places, but mostly in korea. It disgusts me. And makes me strangely jealous at the same time. Woe is me.

And the irony of all ironies is the fact that when we burn, we tend to make horrible decisions, especially in the case of pursuing someone particular. Suddenly, people who we would never even consider are the highlight of our passionate desire. What once was untouchable, suddenly becomes that which is so desirously sought after. What once was appetizer, becomes the main course. Compromise of all compromises!

When we burn, we’re blind. We accept all the flaws, all the obvious roadblocks and problems that the actual “getting together” would cause not only to you but everyone else. You suddenly don’t think about the reality that it would probably NEVER even work in the long term sense. No…all you care about is that you want your steak! And there’s nothing that’s going to stop you from getting it…

Well. Other than the fact that the Peahen/Peacock has obviously denied your attempts at pursuit.

Why do I write this post? I write this post to try and offset not only for myself but for everyone out there this “burning” passionate desire. You know, to be honest, burning is the worst time to ever get into a relationship. And, when we become so infatuated with something (or even the idea of something), it becomes an idol. It becomes a point we have to surrender to God. Until we can surrender it to God, I don’t even think He will honor our incessant prayers for that one person!

“Do not stir up or awaken love until it’s ready,” Solomon wisely advises. And it’s true. When we awaken these desirous feelings, it becomes a dangerous thing. It consumes us, our thoughts, our minds, our feelings, our emotions…it becomes the reason for both the good AND the bad days. What we need to do is put things on the backburner.

What is the backburner? The backburner is the side stove that lets something “simmer” until it’s ready to be brought out to the front. Urban dictionary gives a hilarious definition for this as: “used to describe a boy or girl of slight interest who isn’t exactly qualified to date at the moment, but may come in handy later. thus one places them on the “back burner,” keeping them warm (subtle flirting, etc.), until you’re ready to chow down.” Learn to put romantic interests on hold if the season isn’t right for it. Learn to trust God, as cliche as that may sound, and live life without having that thought consume your mind. So many people I know are “burning” nowadays. Guys…there’s so much time, there’s no reason for any of us to rush into anything. Most of us are young…most of us…

…

No but seriously. We need to let go of this idol. It’s destructive, and it nags away at your soul, your passion for life. It’s the root of “emo”, and depresses you to hell. If the person you desire doesn’t like you or doesn’t seem to like you, put her/him on the backburner. And if possible, let the idea of them die to yourself, so that you can move on. Don’t be so obsessed and consumed that it becomes a dangerous thing.

There are plenty of fish in the sea!

With that being said, I motion for two things. First, I motion that we go back to the days of arranged marriages. Gosh dang, how much easier they had it back then! It was like one of those quarter machines at the market that contain that tiny little toy. You know, the little red quarter things that once you pop in a quarter, out of the machine comes a “pleasant” surprise, or gum, or a sticker, or anything. It’s like that. You put in your quarter, and BHAM you get a wife/husband. There’s no stressing out about anything. You just end up with what you get. Maybe we can incorporate some kind of “trading” system in this, as well. That if you don’t like what you get, you can trade for someone else, sort of like sports.

Either that, (motion number two) we need to just pray harder. My philosophy is, if we pray harder than the person who we’re pursuing, we HAVE to win. It’s the simple law of scales, weights and balances. If our prayers are flooding the throneroom of God, then by the NATURAL laws and theorems that are in place in this world that God has created, the disproportionate prayers HAVE to tip the scales in our favor. So if they’re praying against it from happening, just make sure you pray that it happens MORE.

Yes my friends. The secret to this, and everything else, is prayer.