There are many varying opinions on this subject, however, I believe that the ultimate answer to this question is “yes, friends can date!”
Here is my reasoning for this conclusion. The most commonly cited problem as the barrier for friends to date is that either the guy or girl is ”afraid that dating will hurt the relationship”. However, the reason this argument falls short is because when you get married (or in a serious relationship), none of your cross gender relationships will be the same. Generally speaking, when you find someone you are really interested in, the jealously factor will naturally cause the friendship to crumble.
Another problem that may occur is feeling the awkward transition from being “just friends” to now suddenly being thrown headfirst into a romantic relationship. This can definitely pose a problem, but the reality is, adjusting to such situations is not as awkward or as difficult as you might assume. To be honest, it’s very natural, especially if both people in question have had previous dating experience. Once you consciously make a decision to commit to someone (in terms of whether or not you can date them), you’ll begin to see them more in a romantic light. Furthermore, once you get over the initial awkwardness of the “first kiss”, you should be home free on the physical side of things.
As a closing thought, one of the the great benefits of dating a really close friend is simple: you don’t have to deal with all the pre-dating crap. You’ve actually taken care of all the “foundational” requirements needed to build a true meaningful and life fulfilling relationship. All the necessary components are there.
He has already seen you without make up, and surprise, he still thinks you’re beautiful. She knows all about your gut, and although ideally she wants you to crunch those abs and get a nice six pack, she likes you just the way you are. He’s seen you in the ugliest clothes in your wardrobe, and although he’d prefer it if you wore something else, whatever! He doesn’t care about the clothes anyways, but the person who’s wearing the clothes. She’s probably heard you fart; definitely has heard you burp. Did you just take a dump in her bathroom? The stench from that gigantic poo is still lingering, and she doesn’t care. In fact, she giggles in delight that you’re comfortable enough with him to take a huge turd in his own house. Okay that last one might have been a bit extreme…
Furthermore, chances are you’ve already seen a lot of the “uglies” in each other. You’ve been angry with each other. You’ve had some “fights”. You’ve disagreed on what movie you want to watch, whether it’s an action packed thriller or a romantic comedy, and in the end the girl wins and you watch an action packed thriller. And yet you’re still close. You still care for each other. There’s something deeper here, something more important that has sustained this relationship throughout the years. You’ve managed to be friends through ALL the good and ALL the bad times, and you only feel closer as each new year comes and goes.
In this way, friendship provides the necessary foundation for a relationship to be truly successful. It’s not a guarantee, but nothing ever is. Give it a shot! This could end up being the best relationship of your life!
{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }
I think that’s really awesome, knowing someone inside out, and not having to feel unbeautiful when you didn’t put on the right clothes and makeup.
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it works vice versa with girls. the sitting there liking them secretly.
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You hear that friends of Tobe? Give him a shot!
haha jk
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Some of the most beautiful relationships come from friendship. but its rare. I’m beginning to wonder if the same is true in a vice versa situation from your post in just as much of a prevalent way. Guy and girl are friends. but the GIRL is uber crazy about the guy. BUt he only sees HER as nothing more than a friend.
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i think that the scenario of the girl liking the guy does happen but is less probable, not because girls wouldn’t like their guy friends, but because most guys won’t invest a lot of time into a girl unless they’re somewhat interested in her. there are definitely exceptions, but i think it’s safe to say that girls are more willing to be good friends with a guy they are not romantically interested in than vice versa.
a lot of times girls will start liking some guy from afar. they will fall in love with the idea of the guy or who she thinks he is, but not truly know him for him. so a girl will like a guy that she doesn’t even know, at the same time have great guy friends but only sees them as brothers/buddies.
what an endless horrible cycle.
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