Here’s an interesting concept in the dating world, The Ladder Theory. The ladder theory is ultimately quite simple: men have one ladder, women have two ladders. The ladder represents our willingness to “date” someone. For instance, the higher someone is on the ladder, the more likely we are to date them. The lower they are, unfortunately, the less likely we would ever consider pursuing a relationship with them.
If both male and female had one ladder, it would make things infinitely easier! However, girls have both a friend’s ladder and a “potential” ladder, whereas guys put all their cross gender relationships on the same ladder.
Basically, when a girl meets Guy X and Guy Y, she quickly evaluates both and then determines that Guy X is a guy she sees as someone she could “hook up” with while Guy Y is a guy she would never hook up with. As a result of these conclusions, each guy finds a spot on their respective ladders. Guy X is on the “potential ladder”, and Guy Y is on the “friends ladder”.
Here’s the kicker, the part that (for many guys) sucks a heck of a lot in this theory. The Girl, generally speaking, is willing to spend just as much time and show just as much affection toward the guys on her friend’s ladder as she does with the guys on her potential ladder. The reason this sucks is because the guy who’s on the friend’s ladder can’t tell whether the girl is interested or not, because she’s willing to invest and spend so much time with him!
To make matters worse, the girl usually fails to adequately notify Guy Y that he is only a “friend”. This is usually because girls really like the attention that Guy Y’s would give her. She is in denial that he “likes her”, and puts off confronting that reality as long as possible. Because of this lack of communication, the guy on the friend’s ladder begins to shamelessly pursue this girl only to find out to his horrible misery that…SYKE. He got dissed. And he fails. At life. Sucks to be the guy on the friend’s ladder.
Guys on the potential ladder can usually make a move successfully on the girl, unless he does something stupid that turns the girl off.
Now, on the other side, guys have only one ladder. These are the rules: when a guy meets a girl, she is either on the top of the ladder, or the bottom of the ladder.
Although this seems similar to the girl’s ladder, the key difference is that girls on the bottom of his ladder will not get “special attention”. As a matter of fact, guys really only spend a huge amount of time with girls on the top of their ladder. Furthermore, while guys can almost never make it from the “friends ladder” to the “potential ladder”, girls adjust positions on the one ladder a lot easier based on which girl gives the guy the most attention.
So in summary, girls, when they first meet a guy, place him on one of the two ladders: friend, or potential. Guys place a girl on the top or bottom. Girls can shift positions on the ladder, but guys are pretty much stuck on whatever ladder they start on. Well, let me state that you can switch ladders, but it takes a LOT of work, effort, energy, depression…most of the times, it’s not worth it. Good luck and happy hunting!